Vote for the worst version

Three versions of the National Anthem:

- Steven Tyler – January 2012 - http://youtu.be/i25CmHx2kbM

 

 

 

 

- Police officer @ Tomb of Unknown Soldier - http://youtu.be/z3F7FeRhclM

 

 

 

 

 

- Rosanne Barr – July 1990 - http://youtu.be/SkhbpeL-8sY

 

 

 

Remembering Uncle Wayne

This past Friday (1/13/2012) Rebecca and I drove to Maryland so that we could then spend 17 hours on Saturday riding from Poolesville Maryland to Burlington Iowa with her parents (Ray & Reva) and sister, Francie.

We laughed and joked and talked about life, death, family, friends, politics, religion, economics and the Internets. Never a dull moment during our non-stop trip and we arrived at our destination still friends.  A great road trip with good people.

However, the trip was for Uncle Wayne’s funeral in Burlington IA.  This was a trip none of us were excited about having to make.

We arrived in Burlington Saturday evening and were greeted by numerous other family members at the hotel. Turns out, the hotel was filled with friends and family of Emery Wayne Hoewing. We spent some time saying hello before calling it a night.

Sunday morning we met up with Rebecca’s oldest brother, Link and his wife, Frannie.  We traveled down to Keokuk Iowa with hopes of seeing Rebecca’s grandparents old homesteads.  It was a bittersweet trip.  One of the homes was completely gone and the other home was in complete disrepair.  We met up with more family members and had a good Midwest lunch at a place called OGO Family restaurant before heading back north to Burlington.

Late Sunday afternoon was the viewing where we met lots of distant family members. We spent a few hours here as over 100 people showed up to pay their respects to Uncle Wayne and the family.  It was a hard time for the family.

Afterwards a bunch of us went to a local restaurant to have our long sought after Midwestern Breaded Tenderloin dinner.

The evening ended with us meeting at the Hotel conference room. Thirty or so family members got together to tell Uncle Wayne stories and get to know each other better. We had a good time.  There was a story about Room 232, Mr. 232 and the girl who said she was going to meet me in room 232 and then didn’t.  Don’t ask.

Monday morning was the funeral.  It was a somber time for us all.  Numerous family members shared memories of Uncle Wayne.  I shared a story that I wrote titled “What Rewards have you Received.”

After the funeral we got together for a lunch provided by the Woman’s auxiliary of Uncle Wayne & Aunt Barbs church. Good people – thanks.

Afterwards we did something a little different.  We got together at Aunt Barb’s for a while, went to dinner at Gator’s and then went to the Casino.

Yes – a Casino. It was a good way to spend some time with Aunt Barb as she remembered her & Uncle Wayne’s experiences at the Casino.  Some of us lost a few dollars while a few of us won a couple hundred $$.  I did not win anything.

Tuesday Morning (5:30AM) – back on the road for an east bound trip back to Maryland. Another 17 hours on the road.  We stopped only for gas and grab & go food. Again we had a good time traveling together.

We got back to Poolesville by 10PM. A couple of hours relaxing from the road trip and then off to bed.

Finally, Wednesday morning Rebecca and I hopped into the Honda and headed south back to NC.

The entire trip was a fast paced and emotional.  We are all sorry that Uncle Wayne passed away. Yet we know that all of us are on the same journey which eventually includes death.  What’s important is to get the most from life and to give as much as you can while living. Uncle Wayne did this.  We participated in this ourselves while on this road trip.

Thanks Aunt Barb, Tina, Candi, Dean, Kyle, Ryan, Kayla, Allanah, Mary and everyone else for sharing the love and time with us.

Rest in peace Uncle Wayne as we keep your memory living on as we strive to be & do the best we can in life.

What rewards have you received

I have the privilege of attending a life celebration of a man who has accumulated great rewards during his journey thru life. It is these rewards that helped him to pass away peacefully and provided some comfort for his family.

His life journey has not been captured by ESPN, Travel Channel or Readers Digest.  The life he lived was not awe inspiring, death defying or miraculous. He did not collect a bunch of medals, awards, trophies or plaques from local dignitaries.

The rewards this man has accumulated are numerous and worth more than money, precious stones or gold.

The rewards this man has accumulated are real, yet he is able to take them with him to his grave.

The rewards this gentleman has accumulate thru his life can not be boxed up and put into storage.

The rewards this man has collected do not lay around the house needing regular dusting or shifting to make room for the next great reward.

The rewards this man accumulated are not listed on anyone’s bucket list. And, unlike a wrestlers trophy belt, these rewards can not be taken away by another.

You see, he passed away knowing that the rewards he accumulated are stored in the hearts of all those he touched through out his life.

His wife, his brother, his daughters and son-in-laws.  His grand children, his nieces and nephews, his neighbors and many others.

He knew these rewards existed.  Not that he could touch them or see their shiny chrome and jewels, but because he felt them from the support, help, compassion and care that many shared with him.

My last conversation with this man clearly told me he knew he had been bestowed these rewards.

As we sat in his home, laughing and talking into the night, he indirectly and repeatedly asked one question. To me, I could tell that he was not asking a question, but instead sharing with us that he knew of the rewards he had accumulated.

“I have a Great Family.” Each time he made this statement, in the form of a question. Yet, I could see in his eyes that he was making a statement, not asking a question.  He knew that his family was the main source of  his greatest reward in life.

He received this reward from his wife thru all that she did for him.

He received this reward from his daughters from all they did for him over the years and up unto the last moments of his life.

His son-in-laws and grandchildren bestowed this reward on him thru the tireless help, care and happiness they gave him freely.

He received this reward from the dog who stayed by his side thru his final days.

He received this reward from his brother in part thru the numerous compassionate conversations only brothers can share.

He was proud to receive this reward from his many friends and neighbors.

He knew that these rewards were real and for him to keep, because they were bestowed upon him with no strings attached.

Despite this man taking these rewards with him, they are still visible in the smiles, the tears, the laughter, stories and memories that he leaves behind with his family.

He has been bestowed these rewards because he cared, he gave, and he loved. He did not seek these rewards.

He received these rewards from many who participated in the life of the man who only sought to be, the best husband, father, brother, neighbor and friend a person can be.

For this, he received in return Love, the greatest of rewards.

Love is not a reward you seek, but one that is bestowed upon you when you give it freely.

This reward provides peace to those it is shared with when someone you love passes on.

Love, and you will receive the greatest of rewards.

I need to buy more rubbers

Here is a conversation that I started on Facebook in January 2012. Look at how the discussion went.

TEDDY: I need to buy more rubbers. I go thru 4 rubbers every year. I can’t afford much more than this. I hate shopping for rubbers. The options are numerous and sources are broad. Everybody has an opinion of what rubbers are best. Of course they use their rubbers differently than I do. I have experience with a few different brands and I think I’m sticking with what works. I’m going with Cont/Pro/175/65R15. They ride much better on the Min

• 5 People like this.
• LHM – You’re too funny.
• PC – Kumho… Very trackworthy, but at a fraction of the price of the big names! I got this tip from the VIR experts and wouldn’t see a need for anything else.
• TA – A man needs good rubbers…..
• GP – Know we know what to get you for your Bday…
• AF – your poor wife….
• HY – Slacker
• RT – Do you wear them out overnight?
• TO – You need counseling
• RBH – He buys lots of spares.
• SLB – Teddy, Teddy, Teddy…..
• PT – I’ve been very happy with the Nexxen N5000 I got at Mock tire. With 60k miles, these are my 3rd set of tires and have lasted the longest. I chose to not go the run flat route on these and have been very happy. (I did invest in a tire repair kit!)

I knew this would create confusion.

It stings to lose a great candidate

My $100 per Hour contractor did not show up

Back in 2007 I worked for an IT consulting and staffing company.  I did staffing work with some high profile companies.

One of my clients asked me to find a candidate for a very high profile IT position within their organization. If I found the right person and filled this position, I would be able to bill over $150 per hour, for a 6 month contract.  Good money. The candidate was going to be able to make as much as $100 per hour.  Equally good money for the contractor.

I put a lot of work into this staffing project and found the right guy.

I got the candidate approved by the client.  I sent them the contract and they sent it back signed.

I worked with the candidate and got a signed agreement from him as well.

Everything was in place, except the last 2 steps.

I sent the candidate an email scheduling the background check and drug test.  No response.

I called his cell phone and left a voice mail message.  No call back.

I repeatedly called him the next day.  Again, voice mail and no call back.

I emailed him numerous times during the next few days – no reply at all.

One of my business contacts threw up the, “he must not be able to pass the drug test” statement.

I responded, “no, I think something else happened, just not sure what.”

I heard nothing for over a week. During this time the client checked with me to see if everything was in order.  I had to break the news to him that the candidate disappeared.  I offered to find another candidate but he said, “I already have a #2 candidate lined up. No need.”

I lost the contract.

The earlier mentioned business contact said, “I told you, he couldn’t pass the drug test or background check. Too bad.”

Again, I held true to my original thought, “no something else must have happened.”

About 3 weeks later I got a late night email from the candidate.  It said something like, “Hello Teddy. I am sorry I had a family emergency and had to leave town.  I’ll explain when I get back in town.”

Another few weeks went by. My phone rang one afternoon. I answered it and discover it was my lost candidate.  He started the conversation with an honest apology before he explained what happened.  He got a middle of the night phone call that his Dad passed away. He flew out that next morning to spend the next month with his family.  Dealing with the loss of his Dad, handling the family estate arrangements, preparing the family home for sale and helping his younger family members to deal with the pain. While dealing with his family emergency he purposely dropped all work related activity.

He asked me what happened to the position and I told him I lost it to another staffing company.  He apologized again and asked me if it would help if he apologized to my client.  I told him that was not necessary. I had already told them that he had to leave town for a family emergency.

We shook hands and parted hoping that we would be able to work again one day.

Fast forward 1 year.

I got a call from the candidate.  He now had a high profile job with a local high profile company. He invited me in to meet.

When we got together he told me that he was appreciative that I had not spoken ill of him even though he caused me some problems.  He wanted to make it up to me some how.  In his new position he was responsible for hiring IT contractors and wanted to give me the first opportunity to fill the positions he had open.

Now I was the one being thankful.

The point of this story is quite simple.

I had no idea why my candidate disappeared.  For this reason I did not publicly speculate that the candidate had an employment problem.  I decided to stay professional and not “burn” my candidate.  I have always believed hat this is how you should treat people.

Treat people with respect and don’t assume the worst.  You never know what may happen in the future.

Why I like Retirement

A retired friend sent this out today – I like it, despite the fact that I am not yet retired.  I’m just pretending for a while

Here are the reasons that I enjoy Retirement:

Question: How many days in a week?

Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree’s bedtime?
Answer:  Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question:  How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What’s the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don’t retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question:  Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer:  They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What’s the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn’t miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

And, my very favorite….

QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer:  Monday through Friday, NOTHING. Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

Heaven or Hell for HR Managers

A highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically knocked down by a bus and killed. Her soul arrived at the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter welcomed her:

"Before you get settled in," he said, "We have a little problem… you see, we’ve never had a Human Resources Manager make it this far before and we’re not really sure what to do with you."

"Oh, I see," said the woman. "Can’t you just let me in?"

"Well, I’d like to," said St Peter, "But I have higher orders. We’re instructed to let you have a day in hell and a day in heaven, and then you are to choose where you’d like to go for all eternity."

"Actually, I think I’d prefer heaven", said the woman.

"Sorry, we have rules…" at which St. Peter put the HR Manager into the downward bound elevator.

As the doors opened in hell she stepped out onto a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club; around her were many friends – past fellow executives, all smartly dressed, happy, and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played a perfect round of golf and afterwards went to the country club where she enjoyed a superb steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil, who was actually rather nice, and she had a wonderful night telling jokes and dancing. Before she knew it, it was time to leave; everyone shook her hand and waved goodbye as she stepped into the elevator. The elevator went back up to heaven where St. Peter was waiting for her.

"Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven," he said.

So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing, which was almost as enjoyable as her day in hell. At the day’s end St Peter returned.

"So," he said, "You’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven. You must choose between the two."

The woman thought for a second and replied, "Well, heaven is certainly lovely, but I actually had a better time in hell. I choose hell."

Accordingly, St. Peter took her to the elevator again and she went back down to hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends dressed in rags, picking up rubbish and putting it in old sacks. The Devil approached and put his arm around her.

"I don’t understand," stuttered the HR Manager, "Yesterday I was here, and there was a golf course, and a country club, and we ate lobster, and we danced and had a wonderful happy time. Now all there’s just a dirty wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you’re staff."

My first Radio call in

Many years ago I worked for a grass seed business in Winston-Salem NC.  The company was Loft Seed out of Bound Brook NJ and I ended up in North Carolina after the business was purchased by Budd Seed. Being the IT Manager back then, lots of stuff fell onto my desk, including creating and building their first website.

I hired a small local company to do all of the coding stuff and another company to help me pull together the content.  We created a website that showed lots of really cool images of lush green lawns, golf courses, industrial and business property.  It was a really cool looking site, for 1997.

Another feature we built into the site was a FAQ or Frequently Asked Question section.  We had lots of good questions and obviously equally fabulous answers.  Most of which led the reader to the resellers of Loft grass seed.

We promoted the site on all of our printed material and put the web address www.loftseed.com, on the bags of seed.

With every opportunity our sales people, customer service staff and managers told everyone they met to check out our site at www.loftseed.com

One morning a new opportunity to promote the site developed that I quickly jumped on.  I was able to promote the site.  Here is what happened.

Early in the morning, after arriving at work, I get caught up on my email and tasks list while listening to WSJS 600AM, the local morning Talk Radio show.  As I found out later on this day, most of the local business men also listened to the same talk radio show.

There were two DJ’s on this show and on this particular morning one of them was complaining about weeds in his yard.  So, they put out a call for anyone with a suggestion of how to get rid of the weeds to call into the station.

Wow, I thought.  This would be a great way to promote the FAQ area of our site.

I dialed the number – 336-777-1600. Busy, I redialed, busy, I redialed – it was ringing.

I can’t recall the names of the two DJs, but immediately one of them asked me my name, “Teddy Burriss,” I replied.

“Who do you work for Teddy?” was the next question he asked.  Wow, this was working great, I thought.

“I work for Loft Seed in Winston-Salem and we have the answers to your weed problems at www.loftseed.com.  You and your listeners need to check it out.

I did not worry about the next statement because I was so excited that I got to say www.loftseed.com.  I should have started to worry.

“This is great,” one of the DJs said, “We have a grass expert on the line.”

“No, I’m not a grass expert, I’m the IT guy and I know the answer to your problem is on our web site at www.loftseed.com.

Well, I thought I was doing good.  I got the web address out twice already.

“We don’t have time to visit your web site Teddy, tell us what we need to do to get rid of the weeds.”

“I’m the IT guy, I am not the grass expert.  You really need to check out www.loftseed.com. I am sure you’ll find the answer there.” I said one more time happy that I got the URL out three times.

“Come on Teddy, we need a solution right now.  You work for a grass seed company, surely you know the answer.  What do you suggest?” he cajoled me even more forcibly for an answer.

I caved. Big mistake.

Here is what I boldly told him, “OK, if you don’t have time to go to www.loftseed.com and you want the IT guy to tell you what to do, I’m going to tell you to spray RoundUp (R) over the entire yard and then reseed your lawn with Rebel II.”

Both DJs laughed and said good bye.  Click – I was off the air.

Now, I laughed a little myself and then went back to my work, proud that I got the URL stated at least 4 times.

In less than 3 minutes one of the landscape guys who worked for the company came storming down the hall.  He stood in my doorway, his face red and angry looking. Apparently he heard the show.

“Are you crazy? I don’t want you telling anyone else how to manage their lawns.  You’re nuts and should never call in to a talk radio show ever again! And, stay away from my employees.”  He stormed off in disgust.

Within a few more minutes my boss came to my office, “What the bleep was that all about?”

I got ready to answer him but he cut me off.

“Our biggest customer just called me and said he heard our IT guy on the radio telling everyone in Winston-Salem to spray RoundUp (R) on their lawns.  He wants to know when I’m going to fire you for being so stupid.”

“I thought it was a pretty good idea,” I replied.

“NO IT WAS NOT!” He yelled back at me.  “We’ll talk about this later.” he said as he stormed off.

The phone rang next.  It was another manager for the company.  He laid into me just like the others did. “What the blankity, blankity is wrong with you? You can’t tell people to spray RoundUp(R) on their lawns.  That’s just stupid. I hope your boss fires you.” He hung up the phone without listening to my reasoning that my ideas got people talking.

The reprimanding and cajoling continued on for a few more hours.  Eventually it all died off and I still had my job.

Periodically I get reminded of my Live radio lawn care suggestion episode.  Usually we laugh and joke about it.  I always try to remind myself and who ever I’m talking with that I got www.loftseed.com mentioned 4-5 times.

Regardless of the 4-5 mentions of www.loftseed.com on the radio, I now have a new rule for myself.  I don’t call into radio shows and I don’t offer public suggestions about anything that I do not believe I am an expert at. Period.

Anyone need any legal advice about Russian brides?  I don’t know the answers, but you should visit www.escape-russian-bride.com and find good ideas.

Dang the Internet

I traveled a lot in my previous career.  Most of it was for business reasons. Because I was Dad for 4 daughters I didn’t get to run off with the boys more than a few times a year. However  I have a very tolerant wife who let me play when I asked.

A friend of mine knows people who used to own a place in Edwards Colorado outside of Vail. Back in the early 2000′s there was an open invitation to use this place whenever he wanted.  This story happened during one of our boys trips to Vail

 

We went to Colorado for 4 reasons:

Skiing. Regardless of the fact that I did not ski – I tried on each trip to Vail

Snowmobiling @ 13,000 ft.  We love to snowmobile, fast!

Denver Broncos football games.  We loved to go to games at Mile High Stadium.

To enjoy all that Colorado had to offer.

Technology caught up with me on my first boys weekend out trip to Colorado.

On this trip I decided to use my American Express Card for personal use. Normally I only used this card for business use.

I used the card at all of the typical places.  Ski School, Mile High Stadium, a few restaurants and gift shops.  I used it to pay for the snowmobile adventure and even for beers at a few Bar & Grills.

However, it was not until one morning after a long hard night of fun & games that I realized the power of this thing that we referred to as the Internet.

I called my wife early that morning to say hello and ask how she and the kids were doing. Everyone was fine.

The next question from her hit me like a ton of bricks, “What is The George?”

“Why?” I asked her, not really sure what she was asking, or how I should respond.

“You were there last night at 4AM and I’m just wondering where you were at such an early hour,” she said.

How in the world did that happen?  In less than 4 hours she had figured out where I had been.

“How did you know I was at The George last night?” I asked

“It’s on the American Express transactions online,” she said, “I use Internet Explorer to view the American Express bill now.”

Online Transaction list! – I quickly developed a serious disdain, if not hatred for that phrase.  I did not need an Online Transaction list telling my wife what I was doing.

This Internet thing had disclosed my activities to my wife, hours after I done it.

Now, for those of you who think I have anything to hide, NOPE!

The George is by far the best Bar in Vail Village. We went there for dinner and ended up staying there all night long.  My two buddies, who by the way were single at the time, had a great time.  I played the Matriarch and chaperone, really I did.  This was also the night that I learned a very important skill.  Beer/Water/Beer & a little coffee.  I sat in the most comfortable leather chair I have ever sat in (at a bar) and I watched these two play their singles game all night long.

And, again for those who do not know me – I told my wife this and her reply was simple, “Oh, OK.”

 

However, I still had a problem.  Even though I had nothing to hide, I did not want her to know what I was doing, or where I was moments after I did it.  Who knows what she might learn.

So this was the end of me using my American Express card for personal use. The internet forced me to change my purchasing habits immediately.

If online transactions were going to disclose my activity, I needed to make sure that I was the only one getting this info.

As soon as I got home I setup a bank account with a local credit union and from that day forward I have used what I now call my “Freedom Card” for all confidential, private, no one needs to know transactions.

Little did I know then that my wife would find other ways of keeping track of me.  However, it was not going to be with the help of American Express.

Tis the Season to BE A SANTA to a SENIOR

A Local Business lady & Friend, Joan Calvert is looking for some help in Greensboro NC
‘Tis the Season – once again, join us for Be a Santa for a Senior. There are many seniors in our area who would love a gift from “Santa” this year. You can have a special part in making this Holiday Season special for one of our local seniors.

It’s Simple and only takes a few moments to share your Christmas by helping out with the Santa for a Senior Program – a program specifically tailored to enrich the lives of many seniors in our area. Simply purchase a gift at Walgreens and place it under the tree. See how simple it is? And what joy you will be bringing to others that normally would not have a gift due to many different circumstances.

Gifts may be purchased at Walgreens until December 18th. We will pick up the gifts and there will be a wrapping session on the 20th of December from 8:30am until 5:00pm at Cross Point Church in Greensboro.1806 Merritt Dr Building F in Greensboro, NC 27407

If you are interested in participating with wrapping or delivering gifts – please give me a call and I will fill you in on the details. 336-312-2721 (my cell)

Make this a joyous season for a senior and be a SANTA to a Senior with us this year.

If you want to check out participating Walgreens in the Guilford County Area – please go to: beasantaforasenior.com

Questions, Comments? Please feel free to call me.

Merry Christmas!
Joan